Identity

So sorry to be so late. I kept your comment all this time to remind me to do what I promise to do on my profile. Anyways, I wanted to get a general sense of your recent poetry so I read a few here and there. I would like to refer you to a place, since you are a free-verse poet (and a rather good one), or rather a person since he is in many places. He is my very favorite unstructured poet and what I think embodies the spirit of free verse and spoken-word poetry.

[link]

As to this poem specifically, I can agree with its theme wholeheartedly. The continuity of voice between the several poems I've read speaks to you having already found your poetic voice, which is awesome and a huge step on the road to improvement. The real temptation for free-verse poets is to completely forget all convention and write prose with funny stacking lines. That is a usual hallmark of emotional, high school-age poetry that can't really stand the travails of the professional limelight. But that is not all there is to free-verse.
I think that right now, your voice is on the brink of breaking through to a realm of the Slam poets of today or the Beat generation. That sort of poetry is attainable, but it has to be captured from within ourselves by a study and examination of our own work along with experimentation and risk.
I would encourage you not just to keep writing in your own voice, but to see what you can pull in from external sources. Read Kerouac, Whitman, Anis Mojgani, Taylor Mali, and other real masters of free-verse and see what they do. If you experiment, you will begin to grow more than any inexperienced critique from fellows on dA could ever help you to. You can take out the factor of the blind leading the blind and learn the tricks straight from the masters.